argyle_princess: (sad)
In the first three weeks of her junior year of high school, Hannah Griffith has learned all sorts of important things.

She has learned exactly how much she can drink in a day without having to go to bathroom until she gets home. If she doesn't go into the bathrooms at school, she doesn't run the risk of accidentally reading what's written about her there.

She has learned to ignore things like the porn in her e-mail inbox, suggestive messages on her cell phone, and the chorus of slutcoughs that follows her down the hall.

She has learned that being the blonde daughter of a successful and highly respected plastic surgeon, living in the right zip code, and owning the right things will only get you so far.

She has learned that friend is a much more fluid concept than she ever thought it was, and that what people say to your face often bears little resemblance to what they say behind your back.

She has learned that there are no secrets in high school, that moments and conversations you thought were private are the ones the most people seem to know about, and that gossip and opinion are just as good as fact.

She has learned to keep her head down and her eyes on her desk.

She has learned that getting what you thought you wanted can make you far more miserable than losing it ever did, and that there is no force on Earth less forgiving than the average teenaged girl.

And she's gotten very, very good at faking a smile.
argyle_princess: (looking over shoulder)
Sometimes, storming off in a huff isn’t such a bad thing. It depends on where you go, and how long you stay, and how you channel your huff-generated energy.

Looking at things objectively is rarely fun. It means you have to let go of your delusions that things are all right, that all your choices have been good (or even that they’ve been the best you could have made, even though they were bad), or that everything is fine, just fine, really it’s fine.

Looking at things objectively is, however, not a bad way to use huff-generated energy. Especially at the end of the universe. Because looking at things objectively can require time and distance from the things in question, and time and distance are sort of in infinite supply here.

And looking at things objectively, there’s no getting around it. She’s been putting it off, and she’s pretty sure she could go on putting it off. But she’s also pretty sure that she shouldn’t go on putting it off.

It’s time to go home.
argyle_princess: (not happy)
Hannah still isn't used to waking up here. There's always a minute at first when she's happy, then confused, and then remembers where she is and why.

"Hey, sleepyhead," says her roommate Hilary, in that annoyingly cheerful way she has. "I was just about to wake you up. You're gonna miss dinner."

"I'm not hungry," says Hannah automatically.

Hilary looks at her. "You okay?"

"Yeah," says Hannah. "Just had odd dreams."

"Like nightmares?"

Yes. "No. Just odd. There was a bar in the middle of the school."

Hilary laughs. "This school? Yeah, right."

Hannah tries to smile. "Yeah, tell me about it."

"Come to dinner," says Hilary. "You can tell me all about your bar in the school."

Hannah shrugs. "All right." She sits up, flipping over her pillow over to hide still-damp spot from her crying.

Just a dream, right?
argyle_princess: (not happy)
She is so not supposed to be here.

She is supposed to be in Neptune, with her friends and her boyfriend and her life, and instead she's in Vermont, at an all girls boarding school where she doesn't know anyone, it's too late to try out for the track team, the food sucks, and there are way too many rules, which are all way strict. And you know, when you show up at an all girls boarding school all the way across the country two thirds of the way through the school year, your new classmates pretty much know you're there because your parents think you're a slut.

She absolutely hates him for getting her stuck here. She's just not sure if the him in question is Logan or her father.

She sits in the school's computer lab, logs into her e-mail, and tells herself that she does not expect to hear from her boyfriend. Or is he an ex-boyfriend? It's not like they actually broke up. Well, they did, once or twice, but they were back together when she left. Right?

She's still disappointed when there's no word from Logan.

But there is word about Logan. From Amber. In the middle of a long e-mail about asking Paul to the Sadie Hawkins Dance and what she wore and how much fun they had, was the oh so casual, "Saw that senior you were dating. He was ALL OVER Veronica Mars at the dance. Guess they're getting back together."

Right then. Ex-boyfriend it is.

Hannah logs out of the computer and heads back to her room. She really hopes Hilary is out. She just needs to be alone for a few minutes.


argyle_princess: (Default)
Hannah Griffith

June 2009

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